Monday, September 27, 2010

Hi Ho, Hi Ho It's Off to Work I Go

Today was my first day back in the office after being off for two straight weeks.  (I thank the SEC for imposing that rule because otherwise I would never take that long off at one time.) It was weird being back.  The reactions of my co-workers who know was hilarious.  Elevator eyes from everyone.  Two "You look so healthy" and one "You look so happy."  Who knew people would be so awkward?  I was holding out for just one "You look like you've lost weight."  Never came.  Almost 30 lbs people!! C'mon! I crave external validation.  I really need to work on that.  (I also need to work on exclamation points.  I don't know when it started, but I can't seem to stop using them!)

I am 3 lbs away from reaching my 10% goal.  The scale hasn't moved in about 5 days, but I am determined not to freak out about it.  I'm making healthy choices and today I got off the subway a stop early again and walked home.  Not because the train was broken again, but because I know I need to kick start my working out.  For now, let's ignore the elephant in the living room.  That would be the treadmill next to the TV.  I'll get there. 

Love seeing all of the pictures from BOOBs.  It looks like so much fun. Can't wait for next year, but I am really happy to have my bloggers back.  POST LADIES.  Lots of stories and pics. 

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Move Over Rachael Ray

I cooked dinner tonight and it kicked ass!  I rarely cook.  Not because I don't enjoy it or know how, but because I live alone.  There are very few recipes that offer 1 serving.  However, one of the things I decided to do to help my weight loss is cook dinner every night.  No eating out for at least 1 month. 

I found a recipe for low fat creamed spinach which is on my list of mushies.  It is delicious! I also have about 4 cups of it and only managed to eat 3-4 bites.  Looks like I will be freezing creamed spinach and nibbling on it forever.  Low-fat Creamed Spinach I used PAM and skim milk, so the fat was reduced from what the nutritional info says. 

I also had flounder.  Again, only got down about half of a filet, but it felt nice to eat something with a fork for a change.

Oh! I slept through the night last night without any meds.  First time since surgery.  I was convinced I would be one of those people who had shoulder pain 2 years after surgery, so I couldn't be happier with this development.  I am just happy in general.  The scale is not moving, but today I put on the only pair of jeans that fit and they were looser!!! 

Friday, September 24, 2010

Happy BOOBS Weekend!!!!!

The blogosphere will certainly be quiet as the BOOBs take over Chicago this weekend.  I hope everyone has a great time and found the perfect outfits!

See you next year!

Why doesn't this come with a manual?!?

I don't think that I am doing this band thing right.  I have been prepared for the bandster hell period since reading about it in blogs and forums.  It hasn't happened for me.  I am 11 days out and I really have not been hungry yet.  Trust me, I am not complaining about this.  I love this feeling and, as Gaspar explained, this is the feeling of the sweet spot.  I get that swelling will go down before my first fill on October 11, but I am concerned about the amount that I am eating.

1/2cup of cottage cheese w/ container of banana baby food
4oz chobani greek yogurt
1/2 cup ricotta w/ 1oz. mozz. and 2 tbsp of sauce
1 jello sugar free pudding

That does not seem like enough food.  I went to visit friends last night and walking up the steps from the subway damn near killed me.  I think I need more calories and protein, but I am scared of eating too much at one time (stretching the pouch).  I am also scared of eating between meals because I haven't really been hungry and I don't want to fall into old patterns where I eat "just cuz."

I will reach out to the nutritionist at NYU on Monday, and until then I guess I won't operate any machinery until I am sure I won't pass out. 

The scale stopped moving today.  I started to freak out and then talked myself off of the ledge.  Of course the scale stopped moving.  I am not eating. My poor, long-suffering body is now preparing for starvation.

I didn't realize how much anxiety I was going to feel in the beginning.  Every time I move too quickly or feel a slight twinge I am convinced it is my port flipping.  I have a twinge in my lower right abdomen that is most certainly the band slipping. (Regardless of the fact that my stomach is nowhere near there.)  AAAAAHHHHH.  I need to get myself together.  I am just so nervous about fucking this up somehow.  Everyone who knows is so invested and I am scared of disappointing other people and myself. 


I have got to get out of the house. Maudlin does not sit well.  On a much happier note:

An NSV. For the last year I have been having trouble getting into cars.  I know it was the extra 35 that I had put on.  My right leg just wouldn't lift into the car without some help from me.  It is humiliating to have to pick up your leg to get it into a car.  I noticed yesterday that I was hopping in and out of cabs all day without helping my leg.  Such a stupid small thing, but it made me so happy.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Week 1 Post-Op

I am posting again and probably will give one more before the day is out.  I had a hard time while I was at my parent's and I am finally feeling better, so I want to get everything down before I forget.

My recovery has been a mixed bag.  In terms of the actual incisions, there has been virtually no pain at all.  I am so thankful for that.  By Day 3 it didn't really hurt to get out of bed anymore.

My greatest problem has been the left shoulder pain.  I have said this before, but I was COMPLETELY unprepared for how bad it would be.  If any pre-banders stumble upon this blog, I just want you to be warned.  On the night of Day 2, I shot out of sleep with such a terrible pain in my shoulder that I felt nauseous.  It felt like my arm was being sawed off with really hot butter knifes.  I got up and walked the length of the apartment about 50 times and then tried to sleep again.  Slept for about 30 minutes and then shot out of sleep again.  Rinse and repeat for the next 7 days. 

I called the doctor's office and the nurse that I talked to said that there was nothing that I could do.  I just had to wait it out.  During the day it would flare up, but at night it was constant and consistent.  I slept with my trusty blue heating pad on at all times.  That nurse is a LIAR.  I had my post-op yesterday and Gaspar told me to take Motrin.  It is an NSAID which is not advised, but it is an anti-inflammatory and may give some relief.  I bought motrin PM and took that last night.  I slept better than I have in a week.  I will take it again tonight and every night until this goes away.  He said for some people it is 1-2 weeks for others slightly longer.  If you listen to the hysterics over on it can last for 5 years. I try to avoid those threads.

In case you aren't aware of what the pain is, it is nerve pain.  The gas pain typically registers in your chest and across both shoulders.  This pain in the left shoulder is referred pain from the diaphragm.  I am like an expert on this crap because I spent nights googling on my blackberry trying to see why I felt so bad.  The nerve endings for the diaphragm and the left shoulder are housed in the same spot on your spine (C3-C5).  The brain has trouble interpreting pain from some of your internal organs, so it looks at what else is in that spinal region and "refers" the pain there.  (There is probably a doctor who can refute or give more info, but this is how I understand it.)  This is the same reason that when you have a heart attack, you feel pain in your left arm.  The nerve endings are in the same spinal zone.

I am 9 days out now and the daytime pain is somewhat better.  Last night was bliss with the Motrin and I only woke up twice.  I feel rested for the first time since surgery. 

In terms of eating, I still have no appetite.  This is supposed to go away with the swelling and lead me into bandster hell.  I have my first filling on Oct. 11, and I am praying that the swelling subsides on Oct. 10.  I feel I have earned it after all this shoulder nonsense.

And I have thrush.  The nurse said it was from the antibiotics used during surgery.  So gross.  It is a yeast infection.  In my mouth.  I am skeeved out by myself, so I understand if I lose a follower.  Just letting you know it could happen.  They gave me a mouthwash that I have to gargle and then swallow.  The hits just keep on coming. But on a positive note, he did advance me to mushies 2 days early.  I had my first solid food in weeks last night.  Who knew cottage cheese could induce ecstasy.

I would do it over again in a heartbeat. I am 27lbs down today and eating like a bird.  Couldn't be happier. 

As Promised, Part II

I had Single Incision surgery.  So I have an incision right between my boobs and a larger one in my belly button. I really think this has helped in terms of recovery at the incision sites.  I have not had any pain at all from either of them.  The one in the belly button is almost completely healed now and the Steri strips are still on the one by my boobs. 
Aren't those doctors cute?
This one was a butterfly, but they changed the bandage.

Dr. Ren told my mom after the surgery that my liver was the skinniest part of my body.  She also said that given my size, my insides were surprisingly tiny.  I choose not to hear "For a fat girl, you have a small stomach" but rather "You are naturally inclined to be dainty, so stop fighting it."

So, I got to my room (1334) in the Women's Rehabilitation Center and my parents were there waiting for me.  I started texting everyone to let them know that I was out and ok.  There was some confusion from the start about whether or not I was going home that day or staying for the night.  I had to meet the post-op trifecta:

  1. Drink something
  2. Walk around
  3. Pee 200ml
I started on ice chips and eventually 4 hours (after the end of surgery) they progressed me to sipping water. Every time the water passed through the band I felt a weird twinge in the left shoulder.  I thought, "if this is the shoulder pain I hear so much about, I can take it."

At this point, Rebecca and Meghan showed up at the hospital to visit.  Meghan, God bless her, came from work on her lunch hour and it took so long that she could literally only stay for 5 minutes.  Rebecca came at the same time with arms full of magazines.  It lifted my spirits to see my friends. We talked to my mom briefly before Meghan had to run.  I'd like to point out that Meghan and Rebecca both sat next to each other on one of those obesity chairs that they have in waiting rooms.  Why couldn't I have been born with those genes?!?

Getting in and out of bed was really painful and those hospital beds are torture. I kept sliding down. But I really didn't have much pain at the incision sites. So at this point I am still hooked up to an IV with a huge bag of fluid pumping in.  At around 5 or so, I felt like I could go for a walk.  The nurse helped my take off the irritating leg things and we went for a really small stroll.  I made it half the length of the hallway and then felt dizzy so I got back in bed.

I did have some pain throughout the day, but mainly centered around moving in and out of bed.  That is a necessary evil because they want you to walk and go to the bathroom and sitting in the chair felt like it was compressing everything.  So, I was taking pain medication regularly. Although, for some reason the doctor wrote an order for pain PILLS.  After drilling it in my head that I can't take pills anymore, this seemed like quite the oversight.  Luckily, my mom had filled my prescription for liquid Vicodin.  Hello, lovah!  I took some of that and floated above the room quite nicely.
My sister and my other friend Melissa came after work. At this point I really was feeling good. If you are paying attention, you'll see I have met 2 of the 3 Go Home conditions.  The third proved to be my downfall.  Apparently they need 200ml of urine at once.  After 1.5 IV bags, many spins around the hall, and countless teeny cups of water, it was after 9pm and I had only produced 50ml on two separate occasions.  I resigned myself to staying overnight and sent my friends and family home. 

During the largely sleepless night, I managed to unleash the floodgates and gave them a whopping 400ml.

In the morning they discharged me, and I went home to my parents.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Surgery Day--Part One

If I am never going to sleep again, I suppose I might as well blog.

My mom, dad, and I left for the hospital around 7:45 to drive into the city.  We hit major traffic, so I was already a basket case about being late.  As we made a right turn onto Canal FROM THE RIGHT LANE, some fool from Iowa in a pickup truck decides to make a right turn from the center lane. His truck clears our car, but unfortunately the enormous trailer he is towing does not. No one was hurt as there was minimal impact.  It was like it was happening in slow motion. So now, we all climb out of the car and start taking pictures. Except the driver of the other car.  My dad had brain cancer about 3 years ago and after the radiation he stopped shaving and cutting his hair.  He looks a little like a crazy person, and my mom and I are big ladies.  I think the Iowan was scared shitless.

At this point we are about 15 minutes late for my arrival time, so my mom and I jumped in a cab and left my dad to wait for the police. (I felt incredibly guilty about that, so my mom called my sister who works down the block and she went to wait with my dad.)

We get to the hospital and the only elevators that go up to the surgical center are being weird and just not opening.  I took this to be the final sign from God that I should go home and cancel surgery.  My mother, who is a bit more level headed just pushed the button again and the elevator came.

We went upstairs and I signed in.  No one cared that I was 30 minutes late. I talked to the guy at sign in and gave him my ID and insurance card.  He also made a copy of the healthcare proxy I filled out for surgery 4 years ago that my mother carries in her wallet to this day. (Level headed and ridiculously organized.)

About 10:15 they called me back and showed me to a private room with a gurnery, a huge recliner, visitor chairs and a tv.  The nurse gave me a hospital gown, cap, and socks.  I changed and my mom and I waited for the procession of medical personnel who started rolling in. They all asked the same questions: name; surgery; doctor's name; my birthday. One of the nurses I spoke to took my official surgery day weight. 292! Down 18 lbs. from pre-op start day.  I was thrilled and told Dr. Ren when she came in because I am a nerd who seeks approval from authority figures. She was happy and said it showed dedication. I preened like a stuffed peacock.

The next nurse in was Ann and she told me that she would be with me the whole time.  She and the anesthesia resident asked more questions and then told me it was time.  My dad called during all of this and was on his way uptown to the hospital.  My mom must have told them about the accident while I was in the bathroom because Ann-the nicest woman ever-stalled for about 5 minutes which was just long enough that he made it upstairs.  I got to kiss him goodbye before I went in.

Saint Ann held my hand and walked me to the OR. I climbed onto the table and they got to work.  The nurses put warm blankets on me, strapped me to the table, and then tilted it down. While this was happening the 11 year old anesthesia resident gave me a shot of lidocaine and then put in the IV in my left forearm.  Once that was placed they started putting stuff in the IV.  I remember saying, "Am I supposed to be feeling really high right now?" and thinking "Shit, I kissed Daddy, but did I kiss Mommy? She must feel so slighted." Next thing I knew someone was asking me if I had any pain or nausea. YES. She gave me something for that.

I was in and out for about 90 minutes.  My parents came back to see me twice in recovery and I believe the first thing I said was "Sorry for not kissing you goodbye, mama." She reassured me that I did kiss her goodbye and she never would have let me walk away if I hadn't. I remember feeling so relieved by that and falling asleep again. Then they moved me to my room on the Women's Rehabilitation floor.

Arrival Time: 9:30
Surgery Time: 11:15-12:22

So amazing how 3 hours can just change everything about your life and feel like 2 minutes.

Like many of TV's greatest shows, I am ending the season on a cliffhanger.  In other words it is 5:53am and I think I might be able to get back to sleep.  I'll post the rest of this no doubt spellbinding saga later tonight after I visit with my grandmother who is convinced that I will be skinny when she sees me. I sense a lot of disappointment this afternoon.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Well, I did it.  I am a banded lady. Thanks for all of the pre-surgery support. 

Everything went smoothly--except for the car accident we had on the way to the hospital.  Luckily, no one was hurt. My mom and I took a cab the rest of the way and my dad met us there after dealing with the police.  I will document the whole NYU experience for dear Liz who goes next week. I had Single Incision Laproscopic Surgery (SILS) which means I have a tiny incision in the middle right under my boobs and then one in my belly button. The incision sites don't hurt at all.  Just a little tender all over really. 

I am not in too much pain right now.  Liquid Vicodin has a way of clearing that right up.  Well except for the SEARING, BURNING, TEARING OFF MY ARM pain in my shoulder.  GOOD CHRIST I was unprepared for that.  I have read about it on but I underestimated how much it would hurt.  I feel like Mel GIbson in the Lethal Weapon movies when he dislocates his shoulder. They say it will get better but until it does, I can't lie down completely, so sleeping is not so great.

I am not hungry at all.  I have been struggling to get down the protein shake I made last night.  Isopure has been my true companion here and even that I have only had about 16 oz. in 2 days.  I know I need to get in more calories and protein, but I am struggling.  I might try some tomato soup tonight.  Who would have ever thought that I would be allowed to eat soup again and not want it.  This little band is gift from the heavens.  She needs a name.  I'm going to go take some more pain killer and see what comes to me.

I am still at my parent's and mom's computer runs by two little hamsters spinning wheels.  I swear I have never seen a machine so slow.  Anyway, I have to go and lie down again because this small post has taken me approx. 2 years to get through and I am tired again.

Conclusion:  This was so worth it.  I am so happy already and the fun hasn't even started yet.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

I feel like it is the night before Christmas.  I doubt I will sleep a wink tonight. I don't know if I have mentioned it, but a byproduct of this whole process has been happiness.  I have been so pleasant and not snarky.  Even at work, I can't seem to find my mean.  I suppose there are worse things to lose, but it is strange to not feel angry or annoyed all the time. Maybe it is being sugar-free.  Who know?  I just know that it seems to have come to an end.

Apparently, nerves for me manifest as irritability and crankiness.  I have been miserable all day.  You'd think that I would be chipper given tomorrow is the day I have been waiting for for months--if not my whole life on some subconscious level. I just can't get there. 

Anyway, I am going to nibble on my Brussels sprouts, finish my next to last pre-op shake, and try to find the joy in all of this.  Right now all I can think is that tomorrow I am taking a big step that may or may not work, but will definitely change everything.  I am sooo hungry these last couple of days and I can't imagine 1 cup of food even making a dent in that hunger.  I know this is all in my head. If I could just get out of my head, things would go back to normal. Wow. I am really rotten today! 

I took before pics last night (thanks Meghan and Rebecca!), but Lord Almighty I can't post them without an after.  I look like the Stay-Puft marshmellow man.  My back fat has back fat.  I'm just going to hang onto those bad boys until I can contrast them with a slightly more flattering version.

Off to my parent's apartment tonight.  I'll drive with them to the hospital in the morning.  Wish me luck friends!!! See you on the other side in bandland.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

The rules are as follows:

1. Answer the question: If you had one chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be?

Hmm.  I wouldn't change anything because I have seen Back to the Future and The Butterfly Effect, so I know what might happen with even the smallest change.  But if I could change things with a guarantee that I would still have all the same friends and family, I would have continued with a psychology major and not switched to English.  I would have gone on to become the therapist to the stars or join the FBI as I always dreamed!

2. Pick 6 people and give them this award. You then have to inform the person that they have been selected for the award.

So here is the thing, I am kinda new to the blog thing and I already nominated all the blogs I know.  I am going to have to spend my recovery learning new blogs and then I will update this post.

Is that cheating?  I hope Grace doesn't take it away!

3. You have to thank the person (people) who gave you the award.

As always, THANKS GRACE. 

Friday, September 10, 2010

Arrival Time: 9am; Surgery Time: 1:15

Well, 1:15, but probably earlier they said.  WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(Grace, thank you for the award.  When I stop hyperventilating and freaking the hell out I will post it.)

A Peek Into the Crazy

I am supposed to find out what time my surgery is today.  They said that the list would be ready at 6pm, so I called at 2pm.  Russell answered.  I asked him about the time and he told me that the list was finished at 6:30pm and then they start calling patients and someone would call me.  I gave him my name and made him check anyway. Here was the conversation:

Me: So someone will call me?  What if I don't answer?
Russ: We will leave a message to call back.
Me: Will you give me the time?
Russ: No.  You will need to call us back.
Me: What if I don't get the message?
Russ: We will keep calling all weekend.
Me: So someone will definitely call.
Russ: Yes.
Me: Can you check and see what number you have for me?
Russ (looks it up): Actually we have several. How about 212-555-1212?
Me: Yes.  That is the best one.
Russ: Ok. Someone will reach out to you.
Me: Wait, how late are you open?  If I call will someone be there?
Russ: Yes 24 hours a day.  Ok bye now.
Me: Thanks Russ.  I'm just really excited.
Russ: I'm sure.

So finally I set Russ free.  Here it is 8:06.  No call.  I couldn't take it anymore, so about 30 minutes ago I called back.

"Hi, NYU, this is Russell."

I hung up. I panicked. I know he will remember the crazy.  I am gearing myself up to call again.  From a different phone just in case they have caller ID he won't know it was me that hung up before.

I think I might have officially crossed some line into nuts, but I can't seem to stop myself.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

My Very First Blog Award

Thanks Maria!!! Your comments always make me smile.  You never forget your first . . . commenter that is.  Actually Catherine the Great was my first, but you were my second and you are much more consistent!  Humming the Golden Girls theme song as I type.

10 Things I Like:

  1. Keep in mind that I am nearing the end of my pre-op diet, so it is quite hard to think of things that I like that are not food related.  I will limit myself to only 2.  My first is crab.  Crabcakes, crab legs, crab soup, crab dip.  Just call me Bubba because I could go on forever.
  2. Second and final food item is cake. I have an unnatural craving for cake at all times.  I could be eating a piece of cake and thinking about how much I want some cake.  I am particular about the frosting though.  It must be buttercream.  Whipped cream frosting is a waste of cake.  Hopefully, the hall monitor in my stomach will address this issue.
  3. BAD Television: I watch A LOT of TV.  Reality and scripted.  If it is crappy and on TV, I have likely seen it or have it is in the DVR for viewing later.  I would rather sit down to a rousing episode of Bachelor Pad than Mad Men.  It is a character flaw.
  4. Blogging. I get to talk about myself endlessly without anyone calling me an egomaniac.  It is like therapy with an audience.
  5. My Family and Friends:  My really good friends are my family and my actual family is amazing too.  I am so lucky to have such a supportive and wonderful group of people around me.
  6. My Kindle:  I have always been a big reader, but for years I just re-read the same books that were already in my apartment.  That is the ultimate in laziness.  Now that I have the Kindle new books are just a click away and the gratification is instant.
  7. TaeKwon-Do:  I haven't done it in about 3 years, but I really loved it.  I made it to red belt before I quit.  I always felt so fat and ungainly while doing it, but still I went almost every night to class anyway.  I might give it a try again once I lose some weight.  It is great exercise and it is SO kick ass to be able to say you are almost a black belt.
  8. Bikram Yoga:  The hotter the better.  I surmise that this is because this is the one environment where I am not the only person pouring sweat.  Your body also feels great when you come out of a class. Very warm and limber and clean.
  9. Before and After Pictures:  I could look at the pictures on and blogs for hours. The first thing I do when I discover a new blog is go back to the first post to look for some befores.  There is just something sooo satisfying.  (I do not limit myself to weight loss before and afters.  All plastic surgery is welcome.)
  10. This feeling right this minute.  I just had a suger free popsicle.  I'm sipping water.  Writing my own blog and getting ready to catch up with all of my blog friends.  In 4 days (today is over for the most part!) I am going to change my life forever.  This feeling of nerves and excitement mixed with pride for being so good on my pre-op is precious and I want to capture it so I can come back again when I am feeling down.
10 Blogs:
  1. Maria! Obviously, she has stellar taste! She's also so amusing and kind.
  2. Grace  is a sexy vixen who is so honest and real in her posts that I want to spoon her sometimes.
  3. Amy   Oprah you need this girl on your final season. Make it happen.
  4. Catherine Everyone's favorite bandster. Catherine is like the First Lady of the band blogging world.
  5. Liz My NYU Langone partner.  She's right behind me in the process and we're close in weight and height.
  6. Stephanie Irreverent, funny, and so sweet. I, for one, want to hear the stories of the hard partying days.  I am sure they are hilarious.
  7. Angie So exciting watching her be the girl I wish I could have been had I been banded at her age. KEEP MAKING OUT WITH CUTE BOYS.  It's your right as a young hottie.
  8. Pie Giving Christina Hendricks a run for her money.
  9. Pamela She's a strong woman who makes me laugh
  10. Lynn was one of the first blogs I ever read and she helped lead me to all of you

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Official Greg and Mike Pickett Day!

I can't thank the inventors of Muscle Milk Light enough.  There are so many flavors.  It really makes this liquid thing sooo much easier.  In my pantry I have: Cookies and Cream; Dark Chocolate; Banana Cream; Cake Batter; Strawberry Milkshake; Chocolate Mint; Chocolate Peanut Butter.  I think if I were limited to Neopolitan flavors I would be much grumpier. 

So I decided to cheat today.  The entire way home I thought about walking to Iji and getting tuna tartare.  I even went online earlier in the day to calculate the calories and fat.  One stop before mine on the subway, the train broke down.  I sat there for twenty minutes waiting for it to move again.  I ended up walking the 3 blocks. Avenue blocks are long!  Don't judge.  By the time I got home, I just wanted to go upstairs and skipped the tuna.

So that is two kinda awesome things for me.  One, I didn't give in despite hours of fantasy and mouthwatering craving.  Two, I got off of the subway one stop early and walked.  It may not seem like a big deal, but I wouldn't even have considered it a week ago. I would have sat on the train until it moved.  11.8 lbs may seem like a drop in the 150 lb bucket, but it has given me a lot of hope and dedication. I feel fantastic.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Moving forward using all my breath

I used to have a countdown on the right nav bar of my blog that was keeping me motivated by ticking off all of the steps accomplished to get my band. I created it the day I created the blog when everything seemed so far away and I couldn't imagine how I would get through to surgery date. Well, surgery date is nigh. SEVEN days to be exact. This time next week I will either be in the OR, in recovery, or in the waiting room. I am beside myself with joy and nerves.

I am moving the countdown now because I don't really need it anymore, but it was a vital part of my pre-op journey.

I want to start something new today because today I am looking forward. I am starting to think about all of the NSVs to come. Those are the things that are going to keep me going when I get stuck and think what the hell have I done to myself!

But, for the sake of posterity here is my countdown:

PCP Visit:
July 6 DONE
Shrink Visit: July 21 DONE
First Surgical Consultation: July 28 DONE
Insurance Submitted: August 25 DONE
Insurance Approved:
August 30 DONE
Pre-Op Diet:
August 30 STARTED
Pre-Op Testing at Hospital:
August 30 DONE
Surgery Date:
September 13

I won't be able to resist editing this post to add DONE to surgery Date :)

Edited to add pics of my goal asanas:


Pada Hastasana

Friday, September 3, 2010

I'm Still Alive . . . and more importantly so are the cats

The liquid diet is not killing me. I don't want to get all prematurely excited, but I am down 8.6 lbs. SINCE MONDAY!!!!!! I know it is just water weight and if I gave in and ate a cheeseburger, it would all come back. Despite that, I am still doing a little dance every morning when I get off of the scale.

My goal was to get out of the 3s before surgery and it looks like I will do that. It has been so long since I successfully lost weight that I had forgotten what a high it can be. I had also forgotten that once you get started, you get addicted and just crave more and more. I am going to try not to get too obsessed with the numbers, but hot damn it feels good to see them going down for the first time in over a year.

When I was with my ex, I put on about 35 pounds in a year. I have to assume that is not normal, but I really don't know because I gain and lose that much regularly. My next small goal will be to get back to the weight that I was when I met him. That is almost exactly 10%, so that seems reasonable.

On the left we have me the week of my first date with X. I felt damn sexy that night.

On the right we have me at the BBQ mentioned early this month. I was wearing a Lane Bryant tent dress in a size 26. It had no pockets so my phone was clipped to my brassiere. Not so much with the sexy. I want to get back to the pink shirt picture in the next couple of months. (The picture on the right also happens to be the last picture I will ever untag for mortification reasons in Facebook. There is a pre-band NSV!)

My goal by February is to be back where I was on New Year's Eve 2006. I worked my ass off literally from August until December 26 when I went on vacation. I look at this picture now and I could cry that I ever let myself get back to where I am now. I mean not to toot my own horn, but I look HOT in this picture! I'll be there again--and someone here will get that sexy little size 16 cocktail dress with the gold chain straps.

In unrelated news, I have a blog etiquette question:

Help me seasoned veterans. I have issues. What is the protocol on comments? You all write such wonderful and supportive comments on posts and I want to answer, but I don't know where.

  1. Do I answer in my own comments? How will you know?
  2. Do I answer in your comments to one of your posts? Will that even make sense?
  3. Do I write a new blog entry to answer comments from a previous blog entry?

I suspect the answer is #4. I just want to acknowledge how supportive you guys are. So thanks! The last 2 months have flown by in part due to all the help and advice from this terrific community. I can't believe I am being banded in ten days!!!!