Sunday, September 12, 2010

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

I feel like it is the night before Christmas.  I doubt I will sleep a wink tonight. I don't know if I have mentioned it, but a byproduct of this whole process has been happiness.  I have been so pleasant and not snarky.  Even at work, I can't seem to find my mean.  I suppose there are worse things to lose, but it is strange to not feel angry or annoyed all the time. Maybe it is being sugar-free.  Who know?  I just know that it seems to have come to an end.

Apparently, nerves for me manifest as irritability and crankiness.  I have been miserable all day.  You'd think that I would be chipper given tomorrow is the day I have been waiting for for months--if not my whole life on some subconscious level. I just can't get there. 

Anyway, I am going to nibble on my Brussels sprouts, finish my next to last pre-op shake, and try to find the joy in all of this.  Right now all I can think is that tomorrow I am taking a big step that may or may not work, but will definitely change everything.  I am sooo hungry these last couple of days and I can't imagine 1 cup of food even making a dent in that hunger.  I know this is all in my head. If I could just get out of my head, things would go back to normal. Wow. I am really rotten today! 

I took before pics last night (thanks Meghan and Rebecca!), but Lord Almighty I can't post them without an after.  I look like the Stay-Puft marshmellow man.  My back fat has back fat.  I'm just going to hang onto those bad boys until I can contrast them with a slightly more flattering version.

Off to my parent's apartment tonight.  I'll drive with them to the hospital in the morning.  Wish me luck friends!!! See you on the other side in bandland.


  1. Bes of luck to you and definitely keep us updated with how things go!!! :)

  2. Good luck Nicole! I will definitely be thinking of you tomorrow!

  3. Take measurements, too! Good luck, hun! I know you will do great!

  4. Good Luck!!!!

    I just started following your blog... I saw one of your comments on another blog. I had My surgery in July at NYU... Just thought I'd say hi!!!

  5. I was just thinking about you. Hope you are feeling okay. Be sure to get out and walk as soon as you can.