|Aren't those doctors cute?|
|This one was a butterfly, but they changed the bandage.|
Dr. Ren told my mom after the surgery that my liver was the skinniest part of my body. She also said that given my size, my insides were surprisingly tiny. I choose not to hear "For a fat girl, you have a small stomach" but rather "You are naturally inclined to be dainty, so stop fighting it."
So, I got to my room (1334) in the Women's Rehabilitation Center and my parents were there waiting for me. I started texting everyone to let them know that I was out and ok. There was some confusion from the start about whether or not I was going home that day or staying for the night. I had to meet the post-op trifecta:
- Drink something
- Walk around
- Pee 200ml
At this point, Rebecca and Meghan showed up at the hospital to visit. Meghan, God bless her, came from work on her lunch hour and it took so long that she could literally only stay for 5 minutes. Rebecca came at the same time with arms full of magazines. It lifted my spirits to see my friends. We talked to my mom briefly before Meghan had to run. I'd like to point out that Meghan and Rebecca both sat next to each other on one of those obesity chairs that they have in waiting rooms. Why couldn't I have been born with those genes?!?
Getting in and out of bed was really painful and those hospital beds are torture. I kept sliding down. But I really didn't have much pain at the incision sites. So at this point I am still hooked up to an IV with a huge bag of fluid pumping in. At around 5 or so, I felt like I could go for a walk. The nurse helped my take off the irritating leg things and we went for a really small stroll. I made it half the length of the hallway and then felt dizzy so I got back in bed.
I did have some pain throughout the day, but mainly centered around moving in and out of bed. That is a necessary evil because they want you to walk and go to the bathroom and sitting in the chair felt like it was compressing everything. So, I was taking pain medication regularly. Although, for some reason the doctor wrote an order for pain PILLS. After drilling it in my head that I can't take pills anymore, this seemed like quite the oversight. Luckily, my mom had filled my prescription for liquid Vicodin. Hello, lovah! I took some of that and floated above the room quite nicely.
My sister and my other friend Melissa came after work. At this point I really was feeling good. If you are paying attention, you'll see I have met 2 of the 3 Go Home conditions. The third proved to be my downfall. Apparently they need 200ml of urine at once. After 1.5 IV bags, many spins around the hall, and countless teeny cups of water, it was after 9pm and I had only produced 50ml on two separate occasions. I resigned myself to staying overnight and sent my friends and family home.
During the largely sleepless night, I managed to unleash the floodgates and gave them a whopping 400ml.
In the morning they discharged me, and I went home to my parents.