Big and Little(ish)

I am going to Jamaica in February 2011 and my dream is to wear the sassy red tankini that I bought post-LA Weight loss in 2007. It is a 16. That is 16 regular not 16(W). For my skinny friends who read my blog: those distinctions are VERY important when losing weight.

I started swimming a few months ago to lose weight for the trip. Please note that I did not change my eating habits at all, so weight loss was not forthcoming. I bought any old bathing suit that I could find. In other words the tankini top does not even match the bottom.

Today I fished the red one out of the closet where it has been buried since 2008 when I tried to put it on again and subsequently fell into a deep depression.




Jeez. You really don't realize the difference between sizes until you put things side by side. That red top looks tiny next to the gargantuan black one.





What is really funny about this situation is that as a super-sized person, I can look at a size 16 and think it looks tiny. I have heard small people refer to a 16 as if it was the kiss of death. "Did you see her? She's wearing a 16 now. She should be ashamed of herself." (Ok. So I have never heard anyone make that exact statement because that would mean I was hanging out with really big assholes which I try to avoid, but you get the picture.) For some people in this community, a 16 is a dream. A goal. I am one of those people, but with a little hope and a lot of determination, that red tankini (and it's brown strapless sexy cousin) will be too big for me in February. Either way, next summer those bad boys will be on the Bandland Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants highway to another bandster who appreciates that sometimes being a size 16 is the greatest feeling on Earth.