Foiled Again

Now I remember what I wanted to blog about. I am going on a trip for work to Baltimore. The trip was planned for August 23-25. My first thought? ROOM SERVICE!! You see we get a $100/day food allowance. Someone once said "That is a limit, not a goal." Obviously, that person was only an average eater because to a chronic overeater like me, that sounds like a clear challenge.



The last time I made this trip I ordered such a feast that I thought I was going to have to have my stomach pumped. Why? Because I could. Because the anonymity of room service let me order my heart's content without the shame of sitting in a restaurant behind a sagging table. People bringing me food while I sit on my duff is one of my favorite pastimes.

Because though I am not an emotional eater, I am a food addict. I will keep going after I have eaten so much that I have to lean to one side. Why? Because it tastes good and because I can. I long for the days when I can't.

Anyway, my whole point was that this trip was falling one week before I start my pre-op liquid diet. Could it be more perfect? Could I be more blessed than to have someone else paying for Baltimore crabcakes one week before I trade it all in for Muscle Milk light and some chicken broth?

Apparently my dance of happy glutton joy was too much for the Gods to handle because they smote me. The trip got moved to August 31. One day into my liquid diet. So now when I call down to room service, I will not be getting the creamy crab dip and the soup and the entree and the dessert. I will be ordering a small cup of steamed spinach with a slice of lemon.

FUCK.

I am a little worried about being lethargic and cranky when I am with my clients because I am supposed to be dazzling them. I hope that I can fake it and make it through the meetings without peeing every twelve minutes.

I will do this though. I want my liver to be a tiny little raisin of an organ. So dainty that Dr. Ren takes a picture of it and includes it in the pre-op packet. Dream big I say.